Renunciation

This week I had my first colonoscopy. Wow, what an experience! As some of you may know, the hardest part is preparing which involves some fasting and then an uncomfortable period of evacuating. The interesting piece for me is the fasting, the renunciation. No grains, no nuts, no seeds, no corn; the process starts about five days before and on the day before, no solid food, only clear liquid.

I’ve fasted before and also done month-long cleanses so this renunciation is not new to me. It is such a good lesson in seeing where I cling and watching the body and mind’s conversation. The body says “HUNGRY!” and these days I say, “Good, it’s good to feel hunger.” And then I realize how emotionally dependent I’ve become on food – that it relieves my stress, it is my comfort, it is my reward after anything challenging – such that I rarely experience hunger in a big way anymore. So I think it’s good to feel this hunger during fasting. Not only because reveals this emotional pattern, but also because the body goes through a cleansing process when it is in a fasting state. And, I should clarify, for these colonoscopy fasts, there are filling juices and drinks to be had so that hunger does get sated. It is not one long period of hunger.

Luckily, I know that the hunger will end soon. That it’s healthy for me to feel it. I’m grateful that it’s not a life situation where I have no choice. I have food if I really need it. Then I pray for those who are suffering from serious hunger and starvation, those who have no choice. They have no food. May they find relief soon.