We need a little less ‘Roz’

Have you ever caught your reflection in a window or your computer screen at 4:00 PM and realized you have slowly, subconsciously morphed into Roz from Monsters, Inc.

You know the look: shoulders rounded up to your ears, neck protruding forward, spine completely frozen in a protective, defensive slouch, just staring down the world. (All that’s missing is the cat-eye glasses and a stack of unfiled paperwork).

Whether we’re navigating the intense physical toll of cancer treatments, managing a chronic illness, or just juggling the relentless demands of daily life, our bodies have a built-in defense mechanism. When we feel overwhelmed, we “brace.” We hold our breath, lock our joints, and freeze in place.

While this Roz-like bracing is a natural protective instinct, staying in this “survival mode” creates chronic stiffness, restricts our breathing, and can actually intensify physical discomfort and fatigue.

To gently melt that tension away, we don’t need a grueling workout. We just need to remind the body that it’s safe to move. So, let’s go to the spine–the very backbone of how we process stress.

Anatomically, the human spine is designed to move in six distinct directions. By gently exploring these ranges of motion, we send a direct signal to our nervous system to unlock, breathe, and reset.

The Practice: 6 Directions of the Spine
This sequence is designed for sitting in a chair. You can modify the same movements on the floor if you like. Take it slowly, and only move within a range that feels entirely safe, gentle, and restorative for your body today.

  • Forward & Back (Flexion/Extension): Rest your hands on your thighs. As you inhale, gently lift your chest and look slightly upward, opening the front of your body. Let your pelvis rock forward. As you exhale, gently round your back and tuck your tail. Let your chin drop toward your chest. Repeat for a few breath cycles, inhaling forward, exhaling back.
  • Side to Side (Lateral Bending): Let your arms hang comfortably by your sides. Inhale to lengthen your spine, and as you exhale, gently lean to the right, letting your right hand connect to the chair (keep both hips on the chair). Inhale back to center and repeat on the left side. If you like, your free hand can sweep up and over, arriving alongside your top ear. Continue at your pace, following your breath rhythm.
  • Twisting (Axial Rotation): Place your right hand on your left knee and your left hand behind you on the chair for support. Inhale to sit tall, and gently turn your torso to the left (don’t pull or force). Take one full, relaxed breath here, return to center, and switch sides. Repeat for a few rounds.

🎥 Want a visual? If you’d like to see a quick demonstration of how to do these movements safely, you can check out this short video: The Spine 6.

Even dedicating just two minutes to this simple sequence can completely shift how your body processes energy, holds tension, and releases fatigue.

Give it a try right now, un-hunch those shoulders, and notice how your next breath feels just a little bit deeper.

Feeling Queasy?

Feeling queasy?

If you have treatment-induced nausea your belly can feel like it’s auditioning for a horror film. But I have a few tips to keep the chaos at bay.

Step 1: Create Space. (Supported Bound Angle or leaning back).

First, find a position that makes a little space in the abdomen. You could try supported bound angle pose (see image below). You’ll need lots of pillows or a yoga bolster and 2 blocks. If that’s not doable, simply lean back in a comfy chair or couch and let the legs relax open.

Step 2: Breathe Low. (Soft, diaphragmatic breaths).

Next, start some belly breathing (diaphragmatic breathing). As you inhale, gently expand your belly (let it move outward and downward). As you exhale, relax and let the breath elongate (invite the exhale to take all the time that it wants; don’t rush). Stay really relaxed with this breathing; keep it soft and not much bigger than your normal breath.

Step 3: Direct the Energy. (The “Down” visualization).

Now, here’s a subtle trick: send a silent message to the upset in your belly: ‘down.’ Imagine you are coaxing that restless internal weather to settle; encouraging the upward surge to relax and drop deeper toward the earth. With every exhale, silently say (and feel) down while sensing your grounding, feeling the weight of your pelvis, and your body against the chair or the floor. Direct the upset downward.

In yoga, we call this downward movement apana. In common terms we call it grounding, which is simply sensing the earth, sensing the pull of gravity, and dropping any excess tension.

I hope the discomfort passes quickly.

Michelle

What’s This Fatigue About?

I asked my participants about the side effects they were experiencing and their responses match the research – the most common side effect of cancer treatment is fatigue.

Treatment related fatigue can seep into the tissues and last far beyond active treatment. The transition “back to normal” might take longer than you’d expect (or want).

The research says it’s common, but the reality is personal. I was talking with a student the other day who was dog tired from treatment, but she refused to stop and rest. I hear this a lot so let’s break it down.

What’s this fatigue about?

It could be a couple of things. During chemo and radiation some healthy cells get damaged. The body is working hard inside to repair and restore this collaterally damaged tissue.

The body also launches an inflammatory response to the cancer itself. All the body’s resources are busy fighting these errant cells and that takes energy.

And then there’s chemo brain which doesn’t help. You’re not imagining it. This cognitive fatigue (brain fog) is real.

What to do? Here are some things you can do to deal with this fatigue.

Three Physical Supports


1. Movement

Paradoxically, movement (light exercise) fights fatigue. It boosts your mood and keeps the body from deconditioning. Try a walk around the block or some gentle chair yoga to keep the body’s systems from becoming stagnant. On your worst days, it’s fine to just ride the couch, but try not to let two of those days stack up. Even a little kitchen dancing offsets stagnation.

2. Stay Hydrated, Eat Small Meals

Drinking plenty of water helps everything flow along. Drink more than you normally do (it’s good for your kidneys). Also, eat small meals. Big meals pull your energy to the digestive process which can leave you feeling sluggish. Eat smaller amounts more frequently.

3. Breathing

The breath can be a magical regulator. You might be surprised to feel an energy shift after working with your breath. A simple technique is the 4:4 breath. Inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 4. Stay relaxed and adjust the number if it feels right but stay with the same number for both segments (equal durations). This equal rhythm tells your nervous system it’s safe to come out of ‘fight or flight’ mode and actually rest.

Two Mental/Strategic Supports


1. Napping

There’s a stigma around napping which is not helpful to you right now. You’re not lazy. You’re recovering from cancer treatment which for your cells, is like running a marathon. This chapter of your life is not your norm so let go of your expectations that it should be. Give yourself a break – take a snooze. Try to keep it under an hour.

2. Energy Banking

Energy banking is a strategy: plan to do ‘big’ tasks when you have the most gas in the tank (usually in the mornings). If a task can be delegated to a friend or done while sitting down, do it that way. Save your ‘currency’ for what matters most.

When to Call the Doctor

Self-care includes knowing when to lean on your medical team. While fatigue is expected, some versions of it are treatable medical issues. Mention it to your care team if:

  • You are too tired to get out of bed for more than 24 hours.
  • You experience dizziness or shortness of breath (this could be anemia).
  • You feel a sense of hopelessness or profound sadness (which can be clinical depression mimicking fatigue).

A Note on Grace: Give yourself permission to do less. Your body is working hard inside. If you’re pushing to get “back to normal” you’re robbing the body of necessary resources for healing from this cancer. Don’t think twice about resting. Listen to what your body is asking for. Acknowledge limitations without guilt and skip the “blame game.” Your body isn’t failing you; it’s busy taking care of you.

Shift your mindset. This is a time out of time – it’s not your normal routine. Step out of “normal” and let yourself receive your own special care and attention.

Wintering

Are you wintering yet?

In her book Wintering, Katherine May writes about the transformative power of rest and retreat during difficult times. I love the idea of “hibernating” in a cozy little nest. It’s about being quiet and still, letting the mind soften, drift, and dream. To me, this feels like the ultimate antidote to the chaos of our modern world.

Winter is a natural period of dormancy. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it’s the season to restore our vital energy. Because water is the element of the season, we instinctively turn toward the warmth of teas, soups, and long baths.

However, I work with many women who find it incredibly difficult to pause. For many of us, rest feels “unsafe” or “wrong.” We carry a deep-seated belief that if we aren’t constantly “doing,” we’re being lazy.

But I’m not suggesting you ditch your responsibilities or stop moving your body. I’m saying: Value yourself enough to let yourself be still. In that stillness, something else emerges—your deeper inner voice, your intuition, your “gut.” Being still helps us get underneath the “chattery mind”—the one constantly screaming at you to get more sh*t done (pardon my French)! Most importantly, physical and mental stillness is how we regulate a nervous system that might be stuck in a permanent state of “fight or flight.”

Try an experiment today: Make a cup of tea and sit by a window. Don’t plan, don’t ruminate, and don’t check your phone. Just sit. Notice the sights, the sounds, and the warmth of the mug. Really taste the tea. Feel your body in the chair and the rhythm of your breath.

Is your inner voice going ballistic? If so, gently reassure it that you’ll be fine. Everything will get done. You’re worth slowing down for.

Let yourself be nourished by stillness. You aren’t “doing nothing”—you’re wintering.

Peace is Parasympathetic: Learn the Essential Skill for Your Cancer Journey

If I could wave a magic wand and grant every newly diagnosed person one essential skill, it would be this: the power to intentionally shift out of stress.

To do that, you need to understand your body’s control center: the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS).

💡 Here’s the essential takeaway: Stress is Sympathetic. Peace is Parasympathetic.

Think of the Autonomic Nervous System as a car. The Sympathetic system (Stress) is the Gas Pedal: it’s necessary for emergencies, but constant acceleration will burn out the engine. It’s high-revving, fast, and demanding.

The Parasympathetic system (Peace) is the Brake Pedal/Cruise Control: it slows things down, allows for smooth operation, conserves fuel, and lets the body rest. You need to use the brake to come to a full stop and enjoy the peace.

Constant worry about appointments, treatments, and prognosis keeps your body stuck in that ‘fight or flight’ (sympathetic nervous system) mode.

This survival response is useful in an emergency, but it tragically diverts energy away from the vital processes your body needs most right now – healing, digestion, and restorative sleep (the parasympathetic nervous system).

Learning how to intentionally activate your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) isn’t just a coping mechanism—it’s one of the most important skills you can master for your entire cancer journey.

The PNS is the body’s “healing headquarters.” When you activate it (the peace), you are literally telling your body, “It is safe to repair.” Let this be your motivation for practicing relaxation!

In a time of profound stress, like a cancer diagnosis, your sympathetic nervous system is naturally in overdrive. That’s why we need to intentionally give your body a break and shift gears into peace.

Here are some Parasympathetic techniques that can be done anywhere: in a waiting room, during a sleepless night, or before a scan.

Vagal Nerve Stimulators: The vagus nerve is the main line of the PNS. Here are simple ways to stimulate it.

  • Longer Exhales: simply making the exhale longer than the inhalestimulates the vagus nerve. Or try4-7-8 breathing.
  • Humming or Singing: The vibrations in the throat stimulate the vagus nerve. Try humming a favorite song or even just one long note. Do that several times and notice how that feels.
  • Gentle Movement: slow, deliberate movement, like slow-motion stretching or tai chi/qi gong, can be very calming.

Sensory Anchors: do these simple things to ground yourself and cue your brain to calm down:

  • Use a specific calming scent (e.g., lavender on a wrist).
  • Try a weighted blanket or a soft, comforting object (a “peace object”).
  • Quality time with your pet can trigger the relaxation response.

This is a skill, not a one-time fix. Just like you take medicine daily, you’ll need to practice activating peace daily.

Remember, the power to shift into parasympathetic isn’t out there (in the doctor’s hands or the prognosis); the power to initiate peace is inside you.

Navigating Scanxiety: 5 Tools to Find Peace Before Your Test

Almost every cancer patient I’ve ever worked with talks about scanxiety—that intense anxiety that arises when they have an upcoming medical test, be it a CT scan, MRI, or ultrasound.

It’s completely normal to feel this fear. After everything you’ve been through, it makes sense that you’d feel triggered and reluctant to face another potential hurdle.

The good news is that you don’t have to be swept away by this fear. Here are five simple, yet powerful, tools I offer my clients to help them manage scanxiety and cultivate peace during this challenging time.

1. Develop the Witness

Your first task is to step back and see the bigger picture.

Most people try to push uncomfortable feelings away, but what if you simply saw your anxiety and fear as perfectly normal? You’ve been through a lot; it’s a perfectly human emotion given the circumstances.

I call this process developing the witness. It means stepping back to observe the feeling without judgment. You are not the fear; you are the one noticing the fear. See the anxiety as a perfectly understandable reaction to a traumatic situation. This simple act of acknowledgment creates space between you and the emotion.

2. Bring in Compassion

Now, bring in some tenderness.

This entire experience is terribly difficult. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge this suffering and allow yourself to feel the natural trembling or quivering of your heart with compassion.

Befriend the part of yourself that is scared. You wouldn’t yell at a frightened friend; treat yourself with the same level of kindness and care. Let your own suffering be a call to be more friendly and tender toward yourself.

3. Reframe Fear as a Messenger

Can you see fear as a friend who’s trying to help you?

At its core, fear’s job is to prompt you to take action and be prepared for a future threat. The issue is that it doesn’t know when to stop nudging you.

If you’ve already taken all the necessary actions—and you almost certainly have—you can acknowledge the fear and kindly ask it to take a break. Say to it, “Thank you for the warning. I’ve done everything I can for now. I need you to go sit in the corner.” Acknowledge its effort, then firmly reclaim your peace.

4. Activate Your Parasympathetic Nervous System

This is where you use your self-care tools to intentionally cultivate peace.

Your anxiety is fueled by the stress hormone cortisol. By finding enjoyable, calming activities, you can switch on your Parasympathetic Nervous System—your body’s “rest and digest” mode—and release those happy, calming hormones instead.

  • Go for a walk in the woods.
  • Take a bath.
  • Journal your thoughts.
  • Call a friend to vent (they don’t need to “fix” anything, just listen).
  • Do nice things for yourself.

Take this peace seriously. It’s not a luxury; it’s supporting your immune system by warding off the damaging effects of chronic cortisol.

5. Redirect Your Attention to the Present

Fear will always try to creep back in. Keep acknowledging it and naming it without judgment. Sending it “back to the corner” (as in Tool 3) is only one part of the action.

The other part is immediately redirecting your attention to the present moment.

  • What is in front of you right now?
  • What are you doing?
  • Focus on the sensory experience of that action. The smell of your coffee, the feel of the towel after a shower, the sound of music.

Stay present with the physical sensations of this moment. You can’t be worried about the future if you’re fully engaged in the now.

With enough practice, you’ll begin to see this process as a whole cycle, and scanxiety will have less power over you. You can use these five steps for other things too, like important deadlines or even exciting upcoming events. The energy of anxiety and excitement is the same stress response in your body—and you can learn to work with it, feel it, and move beyond it.

July Brightness

Happy Summer!

I hope you’re able to embrace the joyous expansiveness of summer – to be big and bright like the sun.

Part of my own joyous expansiveness lately has truly been centered on gratitude. I’m incredibly grateful for so many things – from the stability of my home to the unwavering support of my wonderful tribe of friends, the nourishment of healthy, fresh food, and the profound privilege of doing the work that I do alongside all of you.

There’s a wealth of compelling research surrounding gratitude, and what’s particularly fascinating to me, especially from a yoga therapy perspective, is how gratitude is not just a thought, but a feeling within the body. It’s often experienced as an expansive sensation, frequently in the heart area, and words only serve to guide us toward that deeper, embodied sensation. We genuinely want to feel gratitude more than simply think it.

The scientific community has extensively studied the profound benefits of cultivating gratitude. For cancer survivors, these findings are particularly resonant:

  • Enhanced Mental & Emotional Well-being: Research consistently shows that practicing gratitude can significantly increase feelings of happiness, optimism, and life satisfaction, while also helping to reduce symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression. A landmark study by Emmons and McCullough (2003) demonstrated that individuals who regularly listed things they were grateful for reported higher levels of positive emotions and greater overall well-being.
  • Increased Resilience: You’ve already navigated immense challenges with incredible strength. Gratitude can further bolster this inherent resilience, helping you to cope with adversity and cultivate a more positive outlook even amidst life’s difficulties (Rash & Bono, 2019).
  • Improved Physical Health: Beyond the mind, gratitude has tangible benefits for the body. Studies suggest it can contribute to better sleep quality and may even support a healthier immune system (Digdon & Koble, 2011; Mills et al., 2015).
  • Stronger Social Connections: Gratitude fosters deeper, more meaningful bonds with others, encouraging prosocial behaviors and reinforcing feelings of support and community – which are incredibly vital during and after cancer treatment (Algoe et al., 2010).

If you’d like to experience this embodied gratitude for yourself, try this simple practice: Just close your eyes and bring to mind something you’re grateful for – it can be something small and simple, like the warmth of your morning coffee, or something big and profound, like a loving relationship. Allow yourself to relax into this practice; invite your analytical mind to take a backseat for a moment. As you continue to contemplate these objects of your gratitude, gently sense your heart space, deep inside your rib cage. Is there a pleasant, expansive, or warm feeling there? It might be quite subtle. Stay with it for a moment, just breathing and feeling.

May your summer be filled with moments of peace, joy, and profound gratitude.

References:

  • Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It’s the little things: Everyday gratitude as a booster shot for romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 217–232.
  • Digdon, N. L., & Koble, E. (2011). Effects of gratitude journaling on sleep quality in military veterans with posttraumatic stress disorder. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 3(2), 173–191.
  • Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.
  • Mills, P. J., Redwine, L., Wilson, K., Pung, M. A., Chinh, K., Greenberg, B. H., … & Chopra, D. (2015). The role of gratitude in spiritual well-being in asymptomatic heart failure patients. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 2(1), 5–17.
  • Rash, J. A., & Bono, G. (2019). Gratitude and well-being: The benefits of appreciation. In C. A. Stebbins (Ed.), The Wiley encyclopedia of personality and individual differences: Vol. IV. Clinical, educational, and industrial/organizational psychology (pp. 219-224). John Wiley & Sons.

Spring

Hello dear one,

I hope this finds you well and happy. It’s a lovely spring day here in Philadelphia. I find myself in a sweetly contented place and am sending these pleasant vibes your way.


Wherever you are, I hope you’re delighting in the pop of spring flowers, the budding and blooming of the trees.  If for some reason you’re struggling today, I hope you can take strength from spring’s vibrancy. It mirrors our own capacity for renewal and resilience, even amidst challenges.

Whether you’re in a quiet healing state or feeling your own spring surge of energy, it’s all valid. There’s strength in both rest and action, in moments of joy and in the quiet internal storms of difficulties. May you be fully present to it all, able to see the constant ebb and flow of life – we move inward, then outward. We’re forever expanding and contracting. Cycling, like the breath, in and out. The eternal dance of yin and yang.

Wherever you are in the dance, I hope you can appreciate joy when in arises, peace when it surrounds you and deep stillness when it settles in you.

Sending you warmth and strength,
Michelle

Do you have glue?

Did my last email inspire you to open a door for somebody? I hope so.

I’m still on the kindness train . . .

Kindness, compassion and empathy all together, are a kind of glue that hold our communities together and help them grow strong. These qualities lead to better cooperation and, it turns out, are what our species needs for survival.

Charles Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest is commonly understood to mean that the strongest of a species will survive and thus pass along their strong genes. Culturally, we often think of strength as power over others and that to be successful means to be competitive.

I recently learned that the phrase, survival of the fittest (which Darwin didn’t actually coin), was a misrepresentation of Darwin’s work. Darwin would more likely say survival of the kindest is how we endure. He believed that cooperation, altruism, sympathy/empathy and compassion better help a species survive.

When we practice kindness it strengthens our bonds with the people around us. When a community is well connected, caring about all its members, it’s easier to organize and cooperate in the interest of bettering its circumstances – in effect, to survive and thrive. 

All of this gets wrapped up into our simple practice of kindness. Cultivating kindness as a habit not only supports our health and well-being but strengthens our whole community.

Kindness Lowers Blood Pressure

Have you held the door open for anyone lately? It could be good for your health!
 
Let me explain . . . for the past couple of years, I’ve had a pet topic – the heart, and by heart, I mean emotional well-being.

My curiosity is about the science behind positive emotions and how they can affect our health.

Digging into the research, I learned that there are huge health benefits to positive emotions such as kindness.
 
Kindness generates the hormone oxytocin, sometimes known as the cuddle hormone, which in turn does so many things, such as:

  • generating nitrate oxide which lowers blood pressure
  • acting as an antioxidant, cleaning the blood vessels of free radicals
  • reducing inflammation – such a concern for those dealing with cancer
  • increasing immune function – always good

We can generate this oxytocin with a 6 second hug, quality time with our pets, or an act of kindness, like opening the door for someone. It’s important to actually feel the pleasantness of kindness in the body – that’s when you know oxytocin is flowing.
 
So go enjoy some kindness!