I’ve been writing about gifts to give yourself as a way of approaching different aspects of healing and developing awareness. This month I’m diving deeper into this idea of giving yourself the gift of a quiet mind.
Have you tried to meditate and find that your mind just insists on chattering away?
Maybe you’re trying to empty your mind, but instead your thoughts are stuck on rehashing a conversation or figuring out how to handle something that’s coming up? This is normal, but sometimes you’d like that obsessive thinking to STOP.
Because when it does stop, that magic moment arrives when you become still. No more thoughts! The anxiety drops away and it feels like everything is alright. It gets really, really quiet inside and you get to just BE; to simply sit and feel your breath flow in and out. It’s deceptively simple. And it’s blissful! You’re just being. How often do you let yourself do that?
And it can be so relaxing – you’ve tapped into the relaxation motherlode! It’s the parasympathetic nervous system in action. That’s the rest and digest part of your nervous system (the opposite of fight or flight).
Let’s talk about the brain science behind all this: in Kelly McGonigal’s amazing audiobook, The Neuroscience of Change, McGonigal says that your brain is a sophisticated problem-solving tool. When it’s busy thinking a million thoughts at once it’s actually trying to solve your problems for you. (Thanks!)
But it doesn’t know how to turn itself off! For many of us it’s stuck in overdrive!
This is the evaluative part of your brain and it’s actually what your brain does most of the time.
The way to pull it out of that overdrive state is to direct your attention to something you’re experiencing in this moment. This brings you into the experiential part of your brain.
So here are two ways to move into your experiential brain:
1. Uses your senses.
Look around. What are the details of what you’re seeing? Notice what you’re hearing. Is there a taste on your tongue or a scent in the air? Any of your senses can help you experience the present moment and quiet your busy mind. And since you’re always breathing–I hope so–the breath is also a good place to put your attention. Feel its rhythm and movement. Do this without changing it; just notice its natural flow.
Come to your senses!
There will probably still be some mental commenting in the background of your mind, but you can choose to not entertain those thoughts and simply stay with what you’re sensing in the moment.
2. Focus on a simple task.
Another way to quiet your mind is to give yourself a simple concentration task. My favorite is a breath counting practice. To do this, silently count your exhalations (without changing anything about your breath). With your first exhalation, let your inner voice say, “one.” With your next exhalation, say, “two.” Keep going up to “ten” then count backwards, “ten to one”. You can do just one “loop” or set a timer to go longer. Note: this is a great technique for getting to sleep!
Give your monkey mind a toy to play with like breath counting!
Even when you get good at this, your mind will wander at times. This is normal. Just keep bringing your attention back to your breath and the counting. Even experienced meditators wander from time to time. Every time you “wake up” from wandering/thinking and come back to your breath, you’re strengthening your concentration – think of it as a muscle!
Learning techniques to quiet your raucous mind is especially good if you’re dealing with anxious thoughts that repeat themselves over and over. With practice you’ll gain control over your thoughts rather than your thoughts controlling you. This is the gift of a quiet mind. When you can manage your thoughts and allow yourself to settle into each moment, you give yourself the gift of silence, which greatly increases your capacity for contentment and peace.
Photo by Sage Friedman on Unsplash